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Tuesday, May 13, 2008

a worthless sacrifice

"When you say, 'The altar of God is not important anymore; worship of God is no longer a priority,' that's defiling.

And when you offer worthless animals for sacrifices in worship, animals that you're trying to get rid of - blind and sick and crippled animals - isn't that defiling? Try a trick like that with your banker or your senator - how far do you think it will get you?"

..."I don't want any more of this so-called worship! Offering God Something Hand-Me-Down, Broken, or Useless" ..."You profane me when you say, 'Worship is not important, and what we bring to worship is of no account,' and when you say, 'I'm bored - this doesn't do anything for me.' You act so superior, sticking your noses in the air - act superior to me, God-of-the-Angel-Armies! And when you do offer something to me, it's a hand-me-down, or broken, or useless. Do you think I'm going to accept it? This is God speaking to you!"

                                    -Malachi 1:7-8,10,12-13

I woke up today knowing that I really needed to take time out to spend with God. Honestly, it was my first thought. So I got out of bed, got a shower, and went to work. Then, I ate lunch with some friends. After that, back to work, and then home. I set the table, and fell asleep for a little bit. I was kind of tired. Not too bad, cause I slept in some. I ate dinner with the family, and watched tv with them. Our quality tv time really means a lot to me. Plus, I really wanted to see what happened in CSI Miami and which girl the Bachelor was going to propose to.

It got to be about 11pm, and I headed off to my room. I got ready to sit in my bed, get on facebook, maybe read some. I really had no intention of going to sleep. Oh! Then I remembered what I had thought of this morning. So, I thought maybe it would be good to do my quiet time. And I can truly say that I enjoy my time with God. It is amazing, and I get fed each and every time. And I am not bad about doing it. It's important to me. But really, it's an easy, whenever I find time in my day, kind of important.

You see, I have been offering sick animals to God. No, I don't really have a cat with the flu sitting on my alter outside, but I might as well. I mean, I give my time, but it's all left-over, when-I-get-to-it time. As I was reading Malachi tonight, I began to get disgusted with myself. All of my efforts are fruitless. My worship to God should be first. And I don't mean, first in order in my day. If I made myself get up and read and spend time with God every day early in the morning, it would be worthless. So maybe it's not really the time I spend with God, it's the attitude that I take with me into it. Like today, I am ashamed to say, I didn't think, man, I just can't wait to sit on my bed and soak in the words of my Savior. It was more like, tonight, I thought, Oh No! I really need to read my Bible, because I know it's super important. Reading this passage made me sick. I felt like it was me with the sick animal going, "God, please bless this! I know that this lamb has only 3 hooves, and it can't see very well, but, you know God, I just can't afford to give you my best one. Because then my family may not have the best meat. Or maybe that would take extra effort. You'll be alright with this one, right? Ok, God, thanks!"


God, sometimes I really make a mess of things. I mean, I have things all wrong. But THANK you for revealing yourself to me. I want you to be first, the One I look forward to spending time with. The thing I can't breathe without. I want you to be the One that makes me breathless just by being in your presence. I'm sorry for giving you my sick cat. I don't want to do that anymore. I can't promise I won't fail (which you know good and well)... but I can make sure that the time I spend with you has Purpose and Dedication and is Intenionally given. Because God, you're worth all of my time. And I am willing to sacrifice myself to bring you glory. After all, you gave your life. Sorry again. And thanks again. I know we've been through this and we'll go through it again. You're amazing. -Me.