Work hard to show the results of your salvation, obeying God with deep reverence and fear. For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.
-Philippians 2: 12-13
I have a bad habit of thinking of myself. And, no, not in the way you would think. I think of myself as powerless, unmotivated, and empty. I have these huge dreams. I know, I've always known, that God has placed this desire on my heart to write, to do missions, to be used by him in a huge way. I want to make an impact; I want to change the world. I know that, I desire that, I want that with all of my heart. But I also know myself. Even though I want these things, I just can't really do them. I know me, I know the extent of my ability. Right now, I know that with everything going on in life, I just don't have time to write. I know that at this stage in my life, I just don't have that much influence to make the kind of change I really want to make. I know that. I never doubt it for one second. Yeah, I might lament over it, it might even make me angry at times, but I know where I am and what I've got in my hands.
And that's what I know when I'm focused on me. I know who I am. And I know who I'm not. And I know the dreams that God has put in my heart. So, when I focus on him, and forget about me, forget about my past, my ability, my time, my restrictions, then I can. I can do what he has called me to do. And I don't have to worry. I was reading today, and the words "desire and power" totally strung a chord in my life. I have desire. I have the biggest dreams I know. But so many times, I forget who my God is. I forget what he says about me. I don't forget what he says about others, or how much he loves the world, I just forget he includes me in his plans. And when I focus on him, then I can let him focus on me. I can remember that if he has given me the desire, he will give me the power. And when I abide in him, he will provide the time, the skills, the opportunities to do exactly what he has put on my heart. For he says, "It is the same with my word, I send it out, and it always produces fruit. It will accomplish all I want it to, and it will prosper everywhere I send it." (Isa. 55:11). God is completely true. He is truth, he desires justification, and he fulfills what he says he is going to do. If I know (and I DO) that God has placed these huge, specific dreams on my heart, then I have to focus on his promise to produce fruit through me as I abide in him. He did not give me empty dreams, but what he says will always prosper and will aways do what he wants for it to do. So when I forget about my self and my insuficiencies, then I can get excited, and I can move forward. I let myself hold back, stay where I am, not move, only because I don't think that I can do anything else. And I might be right. But God can do something else, and I have got to get past myself. He is, and he's bigger, and he is more excited about the dreams he's given me than I am.