This is a continuation of Sueño, part 1.
Well, I said that I was going to be sharing my dreams. Although I hope that you can relate to having big dreams or even dreams similar to mine, I am not writing this for you. This is something I need to do for me. What I hope you will find is something inside of you - a way to recognize your own dreams and a way to share them. I believe that taking these dreams out of my heart and placing them onto this page (or post, I should say) will make me take them more seriously. And perhaps you will post your dreams on your own blog and that will help you take yourself more seriously - I don't know. If you do, I would love to read it, so let me know.
Alright, I've delayed long enough. Here they are (of course, I have tried to pick broad ideas that encompass all of my very specific ones - that would take too long!):
- Write: Ever since I can remember, I have wanted to write. I am obsessed with words, and I love to communicate. I guess that I should also include the dream of speaking into this category, which is a recent addition to my life. I recognize that God has placed this dream on my heart and that I should pursue it. I think He wants me to use my love of words and my black-and-white personality to share Him. However, I'm scared to death of failing in this, and I am even more terrified that I won't be relevant. You see, relevance is very important to me because of my next dream---
- Change the World: Yep, I said it. I don't know if there is a piece of everybody that wants to do this, but for me, it's a really big one. This one scares me more than the first one, because it seems impossible. I am very aware of my inadequacy.
- Adopt: I always thought that this was an awesome idea. However, when I went on a mission trip to Brazil with my family in 2007, we met a little girl that changed my life. She was in an orphanage but not available for adoption because her parents were still alive. We all fell in love with her, and I knew from then on that I wanted to adopt (along with having my own). I am blessed to have married a man with the same dream. Here's the little girl, Grazieli... isn't she precious?
- Missions: I spent 4 years on the mission field growing up. It changed my life, broke my heart, and gave me an incredible perspective that I am so thankful for. Even if we never do mission work in a foreign country full time, I want to be mission/outreach-minded. Whether we are in our community, our country, or abroad, I want to be living as a full-time missionary. I want our (someday-)children to have the same global-mindedness that I was allowed to cultivate. I want them to love everyone, no matter their color, culture, or religion. And I want them to know that we do everything we can to be God's hands and feet extended. We have a long way to go.
You may notice that I mentioned some of the struggles that I have with these dreams. The first struggle was admitting them to the world and to myself. However, my doubtfulness and insecurity are things that hold me back consistently. As I was thinking about this post, I realized that I could not help but include a third part. Sueño, part 3 will include where God comes into all of this, and how I am overcoming these insecurities.
What insecurities do you have about your dreams?