I have had this awesome opportunity to have led small groups for girls for over 5 years now, which means that I've met a lot of girls. I have found that there are some issues and thoughts that so many girls and women have, and that has led me to do a lot of studying on them. Well, I thought I would share what I have learned. I don't know if this will last, but if I run across something in my quiet time that reminds me of this, I'll do another "blog-isode" and we'll just see how it goes.
Here's #1! It might apply to you and/or somebody you know, and it might not. But enjoy!
Dear Girl with Daddy Problems:
I've met you way more often than I should. I wish there were less of you out there! Daddy's should not hurt you. Daddy's should not leave your family. Daddy's should not take their own lives. And Daddy's should never ever ignore their little girls or not show up to things. But sometimes it happens, and then you are left to deal with a life scarred by a man that you did not even choose.
I have talked to a lot of you. I have heard awful things that break my heart over and over again. I have heard you be open with your knowledge of how this has affected your relationships and your self confidence. And sometimes, I don't know how to help. Scratch that... a lot of times, I don't know how to help.
But there is someone who does. There God wants to be the Father to the fatherless, but we have to let him. This isn't always easy, especially if we have a lot of hurt inside.
First, I want you to know that God knows it hurts. And I can tell you from experience that it is good for you to recognize that it hurts, too. One of my favorite songs is Tenth Avenue North's "Hold My Heart" because it sings about going to God with broken hearts and knowing that he is the only answer. And that is what he wants from you (Psalm 51 talks about being a broken sacrifice). Don't try to patch it up or tape it together. He is not blind to your heart's brokenness, and he wants it just like it is.
Also, I need you to know that God can heal you. He wants to heal you and make you whole again, and it is possible. In fact, God can use this in you. I bet that this letter would be more effective if it came from one of you! You can reach people and you can decide that you and your family will be different. What an amazing opportunity!!
The biggest thing that I see in many of you (not all) is a feeling that you are not good enough. You want somebody to love you, especially if you are scarred by thinking that the one person who should've loved you, didn't. You put everything in a boyfriend or husband because he is a man that gives you worth. You don't go after your dreams because your dad never told you that you were capable. You settle. But this is not how it has to be. You are capable through Christ. He is the Father to the fatherless, and he thinks that you are beautiful, gorgeous, and worth every minute of his time. And he just adores the way you are, and he gave you big dreams. Most of all, he wants to hold your heart, and help you realize just how valuable you are to him.
I want to be there to hold your hand. Every single one of you. This problem makes me so angry. And it makes God angry. He hates when innocent children are hurt. And he wants to pick you up and give you a Daddy that is better than you thought you could have. He wants to whisper in your ear that he loves you and believes in you. He wants to give you the confidence that you feel was taken from you. The best thing about the confidence he gives, though, is that it comes from a never-ending source, one that no earthly father could provide anyway.
I'm praying for you. I'm going to write a book dedicated to you one day. And I'm going to prove to you that there is a way to get over this.
If you have a situation like this, I was being serious, and I would like to write a book on this one day. It is a big problem that I know God cares about. If you would like to share, please don't hesitate to comment or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org! Thank you!