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Monday, December 13, 2010

These two things are completely disconnected:

1. We (me and my adorable husband) leave for California this Thursday, and will return next Monday.  I'll try to schedule posts, but if I don't get to, send me happy happy thoughts for our first time ever on the west coast!  I hear it's beautiful, and we get to see a lovely array of people we oh-so admire and look up to.  Some of them even have blogs:
(whom I have only met once, but am looking forward to getting better acquainted with!)

We are just so thrilled.  California, here we come (oh, that sounds so cheesy... in an old-timey way... but that fits me, I guess).

2. I knew that if I didn't blog about this, I wouldn't remember, so here goes:

Yesterday, Billy and I were standing in a line at Wal-Mart, waiting patiently as the people ahead of us were attempting to use a gift card that seemed to have run out.  Actually, Billy was the one being patient, and I was sighing and rolling my eyes.  If I'd had something to tap my acrylic nails on, it would have been the perfect moment.  The people in front of us were just buying one thing - a six dollar bottle of wine.  They were a couple, and she was insisting that their gift card had "Six dollars and thirty-two cents" on it.  Exactly.  Over and again, and again, she repeated.  
And then it happened.  The cashier looked at her, right between the fifth and sixth try of swiping the gift card and she smiled.  She sweetly asked the wine-purchaser, "Are you pregnant?"  All I could think was, No she didn't! Seriously.
This girl had to weigh all but 80 pounds.  Plus, she was purchasing wine, very decidedly.  She'd carried it, she was paying for it, and by golly, I think she was going to drink it.  If she was pregnant, that would be a bad mommy-move.  Almost everyone knows that you don't drink alcohol when you're pregnant (or at least you shouldn't!).
Obviously, the wine lady gawked at the cashier, right as her gift card cleared, and stalked off with her husband.  Oh, and she said, "NO, I am not pregnant."  And she blushed.  I almost blushed for her (I'm a regular blusher.  It's a talent.).
We were next, and I stood there breathless... literally.  I held my breath, and sucked in as much as I could.  I was NOT going to get asked if I was with child.  I may claim baby fever, but if I look pregnant, there better be a baby coming soon.
Evidently, my mission was accomplished.  She didn't say any extraneous thing to me besides the final prices.  She was probably embarrassed.  Either that, or I just looked super skinny for those two minutes.
Thank God I did not faint right there in Wal-Mart.  I'm thinking that it was worth it, though.

Moral of the story: NEVER ask a lady if she's pregnant unless it is almost watermelon-sized.  Also, if this story scares you, go for a run.  It's on my agenda today.  Either that, or learn how to suck in and not pass out.  If you figure it out, email me with the secret.

17 comments:

  1. I agree! Don't ask until you're almost positive that the woman is pregnant, it just makes things very uncomfortable for everyone involved, and anyone that can overhear.

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  2. oh my gosh! i am so terrified of asking someone and them not being pregnant! it almost happened to me last week when a lady came in looking for assistance for child care for a young child and i told her i didn't know but asked if she was having a baby (she looked pregnant) and then quickly threw in 'or do you have a toddler?!' whew! i was so scared. i am ALWAYS careful not to ask because i would hate to make someone feel that much more self conscious! maybe the cashier was just trying to be a jerk because she was annoyed about the gift card or something.
    also i'm laughing about the 'billy was the one being patient and i was the one sighing and rolling my eyes.' that is totally us too. whoops. maybe we should work on being more like our husbands haha : )

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  3. Oh my goodness! I can't believe this and how mortified that poor woman must have been. I hope the cashier learned her lesson. Have a great trip to California! I can't wait for a recap :)

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  4. hahahaha, that is actually hilarious! she figured that was the only way to get back to the woman who was holding the line up with her gift card, hehe.

    but on a normal day, rude, rude, rude ... my sister loves to say, "i'm not pregnant, just fat".

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  5. Oh my goodness I definitely think people really need to think before they ask that question!! Have fun in California!!

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  6. Since I've been pregnant I've felt like a pregnant woman spotter, however I do have a blemish on my record. This girl looked like she had a basketball under her shirt then if she wasn't pregnant. I felt so bad! I agree just don't ever ask, no matter if you're excited about your news too or not!

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  7. Noone should EVER EVER ask a woman if she is pregnant. The woman can offer you the info but you shouldn't ask. Not cool.

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  8. i cannot believe that cashier asked her that.
    ha!!!

    i had somebody ask me when i was 8 months and clearly pregnant...if i was??
    i looked at her and said..."are you seriously asking me that question?" -- ha!!!

    great story!!

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  9. people have to learn to get a filter!!!!

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  10. Some people really ought to think before they speak...I'd be mortified!

    Have fun on your trip to Cali. The hubs took me to San Fran several years ago but I was in my first trimester and was sick sick sick. Unfortunately I didn't get to see much of SF. Enjoy it for all of us at home!

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  11. Hahahaaa thanks so much for sharing every detail of the wal mart story.
    Just made my afternoon
    LOVE YOUR BLOG

    xoxo
    bB

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  12. haha! i agree, never ask that unless it is truly obvious. what are people thinking sometimes?? have a great trip!!

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  13. oh my...why in the world would she ask that? random. plus..it just goes very oddly with what they were attempting to purchase. ha. Maybe she was ready to say "you don't need it anyway"? And yes, you're right..no one should every ask a woman that unless you are POSITIVE. As in, they've told you they took a pregnancy test and it was POSITIVE. someone at church told me on Sunday that I looked rather pretty...and then he said..."are you glowing?!" oh my...that made me blush enough as Justin and I both gave a "nooo. no. nope. definitely not."

    ps. I would be huffing, puffing and rolling my eyes too. Just saying.

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  14. that poor girl. people can be so weird! that happened to a VERY thin girl in my office too!

    excited for your California trip!

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  15. Have fun in my neck of the woods. I've lived in the Bay Area, CA all my life and couldn't think of moving. I had someone ask me two weeks after giving birth if I was pregnant. I told them I had just had a baby. Not sure if they believed me as the baby wasn't with me. Oh well......

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  16. Oh, my word, I made that huge mistake and ask a gal that I had not seen in a long, long time if she was pregnant (she did have a watermelon belly) and she was NOT! It was just awful and what do you say to someone after you've said that. NOTHING was what I chose to say. :o)

    Enjoy your stay in CA. and we'll look forward to hearing about it. Blessings!

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  17. agreed times ten with this post!! i love your story, you are a great story teller. But wow I would never ask another woman if she was pregnant, based on looks...meaning she looked barely pregnant! Crazy!!

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Your words make my heart smile.