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Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Stayin' Alive

If you were to ask me my new year's resolution two days ago, I would have said one word:
Survive.

As excited I am about the new year and all of it's changes, I felt like the lovely holiday break from my over-crazy schedule reminded me that I was a real person.  I wanted to wave at the friendly smile I saw every morning and go, "Hi, love!  I've missed you!  There she is!"  It's true.  I had missed myself.  I got to vacuum more than once over the past three weeks.  My hair and makeup have been getting a little extra TLC.  My time with Jesus has been superb.  I like having free time.

Because of the drastic change in pace I'm about to face, as I approached this new year, all I could see was a looming cloud come over my approaching schedule.  All of the pressure that I felt lifting over the holidays slammed right back onto my shoulders.  I knew that my capacity was at a 5, my responsibilities were at a 10, and there was absolutely nothing I could do but try my best to remember to exhale.  Even as I'm typing this, my heart is starting to beat a little faster, and I can feel wetness stinging behind my eyes.

Enter my poor, sweet, strong, fix-it-all husband.  Last night, I was boo-hoo-ing to him with what I was just whining to you all about, and he asked if he could pray over me.  God knew I needed it, so I said yes, my eyes still slightly weepy and my nose and lips puffy and red.  Adding to that, it was late.  I couldn't tell you the words of his prayer, and I sniffled throughout the whole thing, but when he was done, I felt calm.  I don't mean that I felt like it was all going to go away.  In fact, I know that it's not.  I'm not sure how I am going to handle it, still.  But last night, after Billy's prayer, God reminded me sweetly of a verse in one of my favorite chapters in the Bible:
The Lord will guide you continually,
giving you water when you are dry and restoring your strength.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
like an ever-flowing spring.  (Isaiah 58:11)
My new new year's resolution?  Let God water me.  Run to him for restoration, because I already feel the weakness drowning my self-driven efforts.  Relax because if I am truly living out his plan for my life, he will give me the grace to handle it.

Well-watered gardens produce good fruit.  Replenished ground is not cracked.  I don't want to live in a state of drought unless He takes me there for a reason.  I want to do more than survive.  I want to thrive and grow and be guided by strength that is bigger than mine.

Sweet, sweet restoration.

11 comments:

  1. love this.

    that is a great resolution =)

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  2. What a great resolution! :) I love it.

    Have a great day!

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  3. Beautifully written! You are awesome, and God will definitely be with you through these last semesters of school (+ work, +marriage :D)! You can do it!!

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  4. beautiful post!!! I will be praying for you!!

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  5. Beautiful post. Hope you're feeling better =)

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  6. Wow! I LOVE this post!!! Absolutely what I need too. I need to be watered. Thank you for this.

    And can I just say, I do not have a husband that is open about his faith like I am. I would be the one to stop and pray for him instead of the opposite....so when your husband did that can I just say HOW AWESOME. And without sounding weird....can I say that I think it's very sexy for a man to pray for his wife like that. You are so blessed! :) Now, I hope that didn't sound too weird.

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  7. What a wonderful resolution and so glad you have such a close relationship with your husband. I think the two of you and God will make it through the year with eachother!

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  8. This is such an inspiring post.
    It was as if you were speaking right through me. Thank you for the beautiful words.

    By the way, I wanted to tell you that I changed the URL of my blog; the letter R leads to the new link. Happy New Year. → R

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  9. LOVE that verse! And always remember, He will never give you more than what you're able to handle. He has promised us that! He loves us too much to see us hurt and stress over things. He knows you can do with Him right there beside you! Keep going to Him :)

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  10. I've been convicted too of not just "surviving" but thriving. My prayers have changed from the naive, "Lord, please help me get through this day." And my poor hubby has been the audience of my uncontrollable sobbing as I entered back into my overload of stress as well. It's times like these where I find God is so exalted in my life, though. You are so right that He gives us the grace needed to live in His will. Loved this post!

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Your words make my heart smile.