Bump Update

I love reading my friend Cait's blog, and I've loved her pregnancy updates that I've decided that they are copy-worthy!
I used to think that ten weeks would be way to early for a bump picture, but lo and behold, I have a mini one already.  I have vacillated between sharing it and keeping it, just because I already feel a little bit huge-ish.  I didn't expect to have anything showing yet, so it's taking me a little while to get used to the idea, but here is the picture, followed by a little preggo update:

 

Eeek!  Seeing it again makes me feel a little crazy!!

How far along: 10 weeks

Babe size: Kumquat (google it)

Total weight gain/loss: I'd lost a little with being sick, but I'm back to my normal weight now.

Sleep: Sleep is and has been odd.  I'm exhausted all day, but when I lie down, it takes a good fifteen to thirty minutes to fall asleep.  And I sleep more lightly than ever... any move or groan Billy makes wakes me up.  I'm not sure if this is my ever pressing need to relieve myself or just incredibly weird raging hormones.

Movement: No movement yet.  The only neat thing I feel is pressure when I lay on my belly (obviously only for a moment).  It's like someone blew up a little balloon in my lower abdomen.

Food cravings/aversions: I have such food aversions I'm afraid that typing them out will make me remember the smell and look and I will start to gag.  I am praying/sleeping my way through the next couple of weeks and hoping the sickness decides to end then!  I haven't had many cravings, except that when something sounds good, I want to eat it right away because hardly anything consistently sounds appetizing.

Pregnancy Symptoms: Lots of nausea and achy-ness.  For a moment yesterday, I was resting and I felt really good, which started to worry me because these symptoms have been so incredibly consistent.  Well, no need for concern, because the moment I got up and started to move around, they all returned.  I'm thankful for the reminders that things are going as they should. 

Also, I have crazy vivid dreams that I hope are completely meaningless and disconnected from my mind.  I wake up thinking, "Seriously?!"  I don't know where these ideas come from.

What I miss: Having the energy to run my normally full schedule.  I feel like a hermit.

What I'm looking forward to: Our next appointment on August 2.  We recently decided to go with a local birthing center instead of a regular OB, and I'm excited to see how the appointment is different than our first few.

Milestones: My little bump is actually hard now instead of being a puffy gas-baby.  That was disgusting as well as discouraging.  At least now, it feels picture worthy. 

Best moment this week: We went walking on the beach with some friends for our friend Anna's birthday.  Though I was pretty worn out, the fresh air and coolness of the evening were a glorious combination.  It felt like a glimpse into the energy and excitement of the second trimester.  Though I don't want to rush any part of this pregnancy, I am itching for the nausea to come to a close.

Moments with Billy: I have felt much more connected with my husband, which I never would have thought possible (we are hopelessly in love!).  Primarily, I have been ever so thankful for all of his help.  I was stressing the other day because of my inability to keep our house clean.  The next day, I was out for a couple of hours, and when I got home, he had vacuumed the house and cleaned the kitchen, and I just about broke down.  I am so blessed.

Persistence

There are so many questions in our lives right now.  What do the next five years look like?  Where will we be?  What does life hold for us?  I think it comes with the territory of being in the starting stages of a life and family.  I've never felt it was more imperative than now to really know where God is leading.  So I pray, and my husband prays (and he fasts... which I'm not doing right now because of the little peanut), and we seek God's face daily.
This morning, however, like many other mornings, I just got overwhelmed.  I want to feel settled and have control over what is coming in our lives.  I completely trust God, but sometimes I get the timetables all mixed up.  I know that His ways are different than ours, but I want answers quicker than I get them.  You know, the whole, "Seek and you will find" bit?

Well, I re-read that verse this morning, and was reminded to not stop... it says to be persistent:

Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you.  --Matthew 7:7 (NLT)

Just because I am not getting the answers I want as quickly as I want them does not mean that God is not working.  It's my job to continue to seek his face so that when he's ready to reveal his will to us, we'll be ready.

Vintage

I've always had an affinity for stories.  I devour books as if they're disappearing, and I ask probably way too many questions.

Recently, an older relative of mine put together a facebook group with pictures from my paternal grandfather's family.  They're sweet and make me thankful for where I've come from.

I'm hoping to sit down with my grandfather soon and get some stories with these pictures...

 

My dad's dad - in his younger years.

 

My great-grandparents, "Memaw & Pepaw" 

He was a preacher out in Grand Prarie, Texas.  A lot of the family still lives there.  We had the privilege of living in Texas for a little while and sharing some holidays with them.

I don't know if it's the baby or just my natural inclination for history that makes me so excited about learning more.  I'm blessed to come from a family that loved God and gave their lives to make Him known.  I hope my children feel the same one day.

Balance

With all that is going on in my life (ok, just the pregnancy, but it feels like a lot), my normal over-analytical self has been kicked into overdrive.  I have a truckload of emotions and they crowd in on each other.  My prayer right now is that God would grant me wisdom on how to balance these thoughts and feelings and when to express them (or not).

I'm dealing with a profound mixture of:

• sickness,
• thankfulness,
• exhaustion,
• excitement,
• anxiousness, &
• peace.  

I was boo-hoo-ing all of this confusion to my sweet mom, and she brought up the clip in Disney's "Tangled" (if you knew my parents, you'd know that this has swiftly become one of their favorite movies) where Rapunzel is SO conflicted from one moment to the next.  It made me laugh, because the extremity matches exactly how I've been feeling (minus the whole mother-daughter issue).

Please, watch and laugh at my expense!

Baby on Board!

Yes!  It's true!  I am one pregnant lady!
I haven't blogged much in the past few weeks because all I wanted to do is let you guys know our secret.  It's been so incredibly hard to keep our secret, but it was nice to have something between the two of us.

This is about the third pregnancy test I took (out of about... seven or eight!).  I was so shocked that I felt it was desperately important to make sure. 


We just decided to tell our friends a few days ago.  We are about seven weeks pregnant, and were going to wait until next week, but we got to go into the doctor early and heard the heartbeat, meaning the risks went way down.  Because everything looked so good, the doctor rescheduled our 8 week appointment for a few weeks later. 

I even contemplated waiting longer, but I've been so under the weather that we were starting to get questions.  I'm so glad we have shared now, because people are much more understanding of my exhaustion and constant nausea!  Though I wouldn't wish the nausea on anyone, I'm so thankful for these signs that mean our little one is growing on schedule. 

I've never known as much nervousness and cautiousness as I do now.  It's a whole new level of faith, but God has provided wonderful little signs along the way, and I can't wait to share them with you!