On Being Cool

I'm well aware that becoming a housewife and a mother has made me much cooler than I was before.  I even recently offered to go to my little brother's junior prom with him, but he refused.  I don't think he thought his friends could handle this much coolness.  (He still happened to look adorable without me as his date, don't you think?)

Anyway, for any of you wondering just how I do it, I thought I'd let you in on my secrets on being very cool:

1. Ditch the perfume.  

Spit-up and baby poop have such sweet aromas that people seem to love.  Nobody has told me this, but I just know it has to be true.  I smell like these things all of the time, and people still come talk to me in Target, just because I smell so wonderful (I'm sure it has nothing to do with the cute little boy I tote around).

2. Consistently talk about how much you adored giving birth.  

Liam's birth story is super wonderful, and all of my non-mom friends love hearing about it.  Especially the part about the tub and the pushing.  It's a crowd pleaser.  Make sure to tell them to look out tomorrow for your birth story on your blog.  It's coming, people.  To give them a teaser, show them a picture like this:

They're sure to come back for more.

3. Whenever you burp, utter to yourself, "Mmm.  Good burp, Sarah."  

This needs little explanation.  You have to be proud of the little things.  When you realize how special burps are, you become very excited.  You get extra cool points if you encourage other people whenever they burp by getting very close to their face and cooing.

4. Leave baby paraphernalia all over your house for your guests to explore.  

This is a great conversation starter.  Diapers and wipes on the table beside the couch leads to, "Oh, yes, I changed Liam's diaper right where you are sitting.  It was yellow, which is always encouraging.  He's had 4 dirty diapers today."  If you weren't already cool, people will now know just how exciting your life is.