Because being a Mom can be hard...

I firmly believe that God knows my comings and my goings and that He is lovingly teaching me something in each season.

I also believe that there are some seasons that are common.  And sometimes, those seasons are just plain harder than others, and it's normal for them to be that way.

I wish I could fling open the doors of the Christian women world and proclaim:
"It's ok if you don't always have things together, because you are living life, and because life can be hard!"

I felt like the first couple of months of motherhood often saw me drained of the ability to give much to anyone except for my baby.  I had moments when I only had enough capacity to make sure he was taken care of.

I should have understood that this was more than normal.  I should have reminded myself that all through life, there are different stages (and even different days) that just will take more out of us than others.

However, all I could feel was guilt and shame.  The burden of my desires versus my capacity weighed down on my shoulders.  Even as I type, I feel it teasing to jump right back on if I do not choose to cast it off.

I have multiple friends who just recently had babies.  If I could say anything to a brand new mom, it would be that sometimes, being the best mom possible will take everything you have.  Sometimes, it takes all your energy.  Sometimes, you have little left to give, and God only fills you for that day's tasks.  This is ok!  It's easier to find joy for the moment God has equipped you for without worrying about tomorrow.

There is no guilt in that, no shame.  There may be lonely days.  It can be hard.  It can be thankless, yet it is also possibly one of the most all-encompassing ministries you can even think of taking on.  It is fulfilling in the biggest possible way and draining at the very same moment.

Thankfully, we can be relieved by the fact that our Father created these processes.  He knows that there are moments when we feel like we have more to give and moments when our children need all of us.   Somehow, He made motherhood so rewarding that we wouldn't want it any other way. 

Thanks, Dreampop Media for taking pictures of us.

Heart-to-Heart #1

I have had this awesome opportunity to have led small groups for girls for over 5 years now, which means that I've met a lot of girls.  I have found that there are some issues and thoughts that so many girls and women have, and that has led me to do a lot of studying on them.  Well, I thought I would share what I have learned.  I don't know if this will last, but if I run across something in my quiet time that reminds me of this, I'll do another "blog-isode" and we'll just see how it goes.  

Here's #1!  It might apply to you and/or somebody you know, and it might not.  But enjoy!

Dear Girl with Daddy Problems: 
I've met you way more often than I should.  I wish there were less of you out there!  Daddy's should not hurt you.  Daddy's should not leave your family.  Daddy's should not take their own lives.  And Daddy's should never ever ignore their little girls or not show up to things.  But sometimes it happens, and then you are left to deal with a life scarred by a man that you did not even choose.

I have talked to a lot of you.  I have heard awful things that break my heart over and over again.  I have heard you be open with your knowledge of how this has affected your relationships and your self confidence.  And sometimes, I don't know how to help.  Scratch that... a lot of times, I don't know how to help.

But there is someone who does.  There God wants to be the Father to the fatherless, but we have to let him.  This isn't always easy, especially if we have a lot of hurt inside.

First, I want you to know that God knows it hurts.  And I can tell you from experience that it is good for you to recognize that it hurts, too.  One of my favorite songs is Tenth Avenue North's "Hold My Heart" because it sings about going to God with broken hearts and knowing that he is the only answer.  And that is what he wants from you (Psalm 51 talks about being a broken sacrifice).  Don't try to patch it up or tape it together.  He is not blind to your heart's brokenness, and he wants it just like it is.

Also, I need you to know that God can heal you.  He wants to heal you and make you whole again, and it is possible.  In fact, God can use this in you.  I bet that this letter would be more effective if it came from one of you!  You can reach people and you can decide that you and your family will be different.  What an amazing opportunity!!

The biggest thing that I see in many of you (not all) is a feeling that you are not good enough.  You want somebody to love you, especially if you are scarred by thinking that the one person who should've loved you, didn't.  You put everything in a boyfriend or husband because he is a man that gives you worth.  You don't go after your dreams because your dad never told you that you were capable.  You settle.  But this is not how it has to be.  You are capable through Christ.  He is the Father to the fatherless, and he thinks that you are beautiful, gorgeous, and worth every minute of his time.  And he just adores the way you are, and he gave you big dreams.  Most of all, he wants to hold your heart, and help you realize just how valuable you are to him.

I want to be there to hold your hand.  Every single one of you.  This problem makes me so angry.  And it makes God angry.  He hates when innocent children are hurt.  And he wants to pick you up and give you a Daddy that is better than you thought you could have.  He wants to whisper in your ear that he loves you and believes in you.  He wants to give you the confidence that you feel was taken from you.  The best thing about the confidence he gives, though, is that it comes from a never-ending source, one that no earthly father could provide anyway.

I'm praying for you.  I'm going to write a book dedicated to you one day.  And I'm going to prove to you that there is a way to get over this.

Love,
Me.

If you have a situation like this, I was being serious, and I would like to write a book on this one day.  It is a big problem that I know God cares about.  If you would like to share, please don't hesitate to comment or email me at sarahannrogers09@gmail.com!  Thank you!