Worry-Wart

The past couple of months have been quite trying in certain areas of our lives.  We have added one beautiful little boy to our family, and that's been one of the best things ever.  However, there have been other situations that have made me want to crawl back in bed and be a child again without any grown up worries.
Ah, worries.  They plague me daily in almost every form.  I worry when we don't have enough money, and when our cars break down.  I worry about friendships and things I say and odd stretch marks that I now bear in multiple places.  The problem is, if the things I worry about today were solved tomorrow, I know there would be something else to worry about.

So, instead of worrying, today I will:

1. Be thankful for the opportunity for such great faith.  It is in these moments that God continues to show up in our lives in the most obvious ways, just to comfort us.  He keeps reminding me that He's aware of our situation, and that though things may not be fixed in an earthly sense, He will sustain us in our spirits, in our hearts.

2. Choose to breathe life into my thoughts.  God gives me the choice daily between life and death, blessing and cursing (Deuteronomy 30).  It's my inner self, my secret thoughts, that harbor my deepest worries.  I will understand today that I have a choice to not think on those things, to remind myself Who is in control and that He desperately loves us, no matter what.

3. Pump up my prayer life.  I understand that there is a spiritual battle going on consistently.  Therefore, I choose to look past what I can see and pray over my worries whenever they arise.  Prayer works in every area of my life, but especially in my perspective.  When I can hand something over to God (as if He wasn't already in control),  I am reminded of His great care for me, and I can find peace even when things look really bad on the outside.

Philippians 4

Decidedly Thankful

I got this great idea from my friend Melissa's blog.  I am stealing it because it's great, and I need to learn to be more positive and follow this verse:

Things I wish I had time for right now:

1. Writing consistently each day.
2. Working out at the YMCA because they have awesome classes.
3. Meeting with more girls one-on-one, especially my small group girls.
4. Reading my lovely Christian Romance books.
5. Cleaning and organizing more efficiently.

Things I am thankful for right now:

1. The opportunity to meet with the girls I do meet with and how much God's teaching me.
2. My husband and his laid back attitude that balances me when I'm not-so-relaxed or even not-so-nice.
3. The classes I'm taking that are increasing my knowledge about writing.
4. My mom, who has become more of a best friend and confidant than ever before.
5. The ability and opportunity to do any ministry, even if it does take up our time.  It's amazing to pour out and empty yourself and even be weak enough to lean on God.  He is strongest then.

Thanks, Melissa, for this great idea!

Also, any South Carolinian readers, please enter Alexa Chloe's giveaway!  

Anyone would be lucky to do an awesome photoshoot with her!

the Desire and the Power

Work hard to show the results of your salvation, obeying God with deep reverence and fear.  For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.

-Philippians 2: 12-13

I have a bad habit of thinking of myself.  And, no, not in the way you would think.  I think of myself as powerless, unmotivated, and empty.  I have these huge dreams.  I know, I've always known, that God has placed this desire on my heart to write, to do missions, to be used by him in a huge way.  I want to make an impact;  I want to change the world.  I know that, I desire that, I want that with all of my heart.  But I also know myself.  Even though I want these things, I just can't really do them.  I know me, I know the extent of my ability.  Right now, I know that with everything going on in life, I just don't have time to write.  I know that at this stage in my life, I just don't have that much influence to make the kind of change I really want to make.  I know that.  I never doubt it for one second.  Yeah, I might lament over it, it might even make me angry at times, but I know where I am and what I've got in my hands.

And that's what I know when I'm focused on me.  I know who I am.  And I know who I'm not.  And I know the dreams that God has put in my heart.  So, when I focus on him, and forget about me, forget about my past, my ability, my time, my restrictions, then I can.  I can do what he has called me to do.  And I don't have to worry.  I was reading today, and the words "desire and power" totally strung a chord in my life.  I have desire.  I have the biggest dreams I know.  But so many times, I forget who my God is.  I forget what he says about me.  I don't forget what he says about others, or how much he loves the world, I just forget he includes me in his plans.  And when I focus on him, then I can let him focus on me.  I can remember that if he has given me the desire, he will give me the power.  And when I abide in him, he will provide the time, the skills, the opportunities to do exactly what he has put on my heart.  For he says, "It is the same with my word, I send it out, and it always produces fruit.  It will accomplish all I want it to, and it will prosper everywhere I send it."  (Isa. 55:11).  God is completely true.  He is truth, he desires justification, and he fulfills what he says he is going to do.  If I know (and I DO) that God has placed these huge, specific dreams on my heart, then I have to focus on his promise to produce fruit through me as I abide in him.  He did not give me empty dreams, but what he says will always prosper and will aways do what he wants for it to do.  So when I forget about my self and my insuficiencies, then I can get excited, and I can move forward.  I let myself hold back, stay where I am, not move, only because I don't think that I can do anything else.  And I might be right.  But God can do something else, and I have got to get past myself.  He is, and he's bigger, and he is more excited about the dreams he's given me than I am.