Taking It Seriously

When you come to worship me, who asked you to parade through my courts with all your ceremony? Stop bringing me your meaningless gifts... I want no more of your pious meetings.  When you lift up your hands in prayer, I will not look.  Though you offer many prayers, I will not listen, for your hands are covered with the blood of innocent victims.  Wash yourselves and be clean!  Get your sins out of my sight.  Give up your evil ways.  Learn to do good.  Seek justice.  Help the oppressed.  Defend the cause of orphans.  Fight for the rights of widows.

Isaiah 1:12-13, 15-17

I don't think I have taken God very seriously.  I am the perfect example of the first part of this passage.  My worship is extravagant.  People see that I am a follower of God through the services I attend, the excellence of my church, the relevance of our message in culture.... And somehow, when I read these verses, I feel like I am not even close to doing what God wants of me.  My worship, though awesome and "pretty" is nothing at all.  Not that I do not have this desire inside of me to please God and follow him, I do, really.  But then, as I type that, I truly wonder, do I?  I have been reading this book Red Letters that talks about really living out our faith, and not just in our "everyday Christian" ways.  I can so tell myself that I am doing a good job.  I do not watch things that I shouldn't.  I have a pure relationship with my boyfriend.  I encourage others to follow God and I live in a "righteous" manner.  But there is so much that I am missing.  I feel like the nation of Israel that God is addressing in this first chapter of Isaiah.  He is saying to me, personally, that my worship, my acts, my ceremony, my committment, isn't enough.  And I know that there are those out there that would comfort me and say, that yes, I am doing all I can, and I live a good life, because I have been that person to comfort others in their normalcy.  I want to think that there is nothing to worry about because everybody can see that I am different, and that I try to "sin less".  But I can't miss God's heartbeat in the last part of these verses, and I have to say that his heart is not in our ceremonies, not in our lifting of hands, not in the excellent environments we create for his worship.  His heart is in our going and in our giving.  And he takes it seriously.  His words are strong and he repeats it over and over throughout the Bible.  He calls his true followers not to make or put on a show for him, but to go and be like him.  Worship, yes, is wonderful and an integral part of intimacy with our Maker, but I have to question myself if I can truly worship God in fullness if I am not going or doing the absolute most I can to "do good... help the oppressed... defend the cause of orphans... fight for the rights of widows..."

I'll end with this.  When I think of giving, I wonder how much is enough.  How much can I give to meet the "good Christian"  quota?  Well, I came upon this quote from C.S. Lewis, and it completely convicted my heart:

I do not believe one can settle how much we ought to give. I am afraid the only safe rule is to give more than we can spare.

the Desire and the Power

Work hard to show the results of your salvation, obeying God with deep reverence and fear.  For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.

-Philippians 2: 12-13

I have a bad habit of thinking of myself.  And, no, not in the way you would think.  I think of myself as powerless, unmotivated, and empty.  I have these huge dreams.  I know, I've always known, that God has placed this desire on my heart to write, to do missions, to be used by him in a huge way.  I want to make an impact;  I want to change the world.  I know that, I desire that, I want that with all of my heart.  But I also know myself.  Even though I want these things, I just can't really do them.  I know me, I know the extent of my ability.  Right now, I know that with everything going on in life, I just don't have time to write.  I know that at this stage in my life, I just don't have that much influence to make the kind of change I really want to make.  I know that.  I never doubt it for one second.  Yeah, I might lament over it, it might even make me angry at times, but I know where I am and what I've got in my hands.

And that's what I know when I'm focused on me.  I know who I am.  And I know who I'm not.  And I know the dreams that God has put in my heart.  So, when I focus on him, and forget about me, forget about my past, my ability, my time, my restrictions, then I can.  I can do what he has called me to do.  And I don't have to worry.  I was reading today, and the words "desire and power" totally strung a chord in my life.  I have desire.  I have the biggest dreams I know.  But so many times, I forget who my God is.  I forget what he says about me.  I don't forget what he says about others, or how much he loves the world, I just forget he includes me in his plans.  And when I focus on him, then I can let him focus on me.  I can remember that if he has given me the desire, he will give me the power.  And when I abide in him, he will provide the time, the skills, the opportunities to do exactly what he has put on my heart.  For he says, "It is the same with my word, I send it out, and it always produces fruit.  It will accomplish all I want it to, and it will prosper everywhere I send it."  (Isa. 55:11).  God is completely true.  He is truth, he desires justification, and he fulfills what he says he is going to do.  If I know (and I DO) that God has placed these huge, specific dreams on my heart, then I have to focus on his promise to produce fruit through me as I abide in him.  He did not give me empty dreams, but what he says will always prosper and will aways do what he wants for it to do.  So when I forget about my self and my insuficiencies, then I can get excited, and I can move forward.  I let myself hold back, stay where I am, not move, only because I don't think that I can do anything else.  And I might be right.  But God can do something else, and I have got to get past myself.  He is, and he's bigger, and he is more excited about the dreams he's given me than I am.