Happy Days

These are the days of tightening our belts.

Days of older couples across the restaurants seeing our little family and paying secretly for our meals, making me cry.

Days of friends loaning us their extra car at no expense, just because we need one.

Days that God gently holds our anxious hearts, reminding us to live in the moment, to not worry about tomorrow, to be thankful for the right now.

Days of teaching and training a child, days of God-given energy.

Days of my baby being my mirror, exposing me to myself...

Furrowing his brow, pushing forward beyond his capacity, motivated to try beyond his ability... Frustrated when he finds that it hurts sometimes when you rush things, even though you're learning.

He reminds me not to rush.  To try and bloom where I'm planted.  To realize that tomorrow will come, but today, today is where I want to be, and nowhere else.

Even though I'm a little more tired, budgeted, and not-all-together than I would've pictured myself at this stage...

These days are precious, cherished, and there's not a moment I'd change.

I'm discovering that I would not, even if I could, lay more time, more energy, more money, more security at our feet...
God knows just what we need, and I'm pretty sure He's having fun supplying us with our daily needs, surprising us with so many extra blessings, and overflowing us with all things good when we least expect it.

Sloppy kisses, soft cheeks, blue orbs that trust us implicitly, love us just because.
Holding hands on the couch, still glancing over, cuddling in, whispering, "I can't believe you're mine."
Hearts and words and support making up a community that teaches us, blesses us, makes our hearts beat with pure thanks and joy.

Yeah, these days, they're just good.  All kinds of good.

And It's Not a Pretty Cry...

Yesterday, Emily Freeman's post got me thinking....
When she asked what things were making us weirdly emotional, I got emotional.
That's where I'm at right now.

I'm in a glorious moment of tears and thanks and Jesus presence.  I feel Him everywhere right now.
And I've been breaking down lots.

Things that have been making me choke up (this has been happening TONS, people):

1. One of my favorite friends moving oh so suddenly.
We expected this to come around the new year.  Instead, it's hitting us in 3 weeks.
I'm don't know if a friendship has ever made me question myself, figure out what sharing life looks like, and made me feel full to the brim like this one has.  How can something make me so thankful yet so exhaustingly emotional?
This is life, and though it hurts, I love it too.  God knew what I needed, and this friendship was a gift... There's never a doubt about it.

2. The Five Minute Friday Party (#FMFparty) on Twitter every Thursday evening.
Encouragement?  Check.
Fun?  Check.
Vulnerability? Check.
Virtual cookies and coffee?  Sometimes, but not always.
A bunch of ladies get together on twitter with the hashtag #FMFparty, and we anticipate Lisa-Jo's Five Minute Friday prompt.  It's a gorgeous smattering of women gathering to connect in the sweetest way.  And sweet, sweet relief it is.

3. Prepping to minister to the young families in our church.
You read where I was super nervous, shaking-in-my-Toms about this?  Still true.
What's also true?  God has confirmed again and again (like He does) in just the last week.
Example: More than one person telling me that they are desperate for community.  People, this should not be an unquenched need in the church.  I've been abundantly blessed to know many young moms and wives... it's often my saving grace.  We all need hands to hold, support, lift us up, and celebrate our little daily victories.

4. Linda Dillow's book: Calm My Anxious Heart.
Confession: I can be really anxious.  I have to fight daily for contentment.  Linda gets it, tells me I'm not alone, but she doesn't let it be ok.  Read what I've learned so far.

5. Washing dishes, nursing my baby, worship music, a hug from my mom, a hug from anyone...
It's true.  I'm a blubbering, blessed mess.  And it's been more than usual.
I can't even pinpoint why, except that I'm overflowing with gratefulness for it all.  The good, the bad, the community, the brokenness, the open wounds, the healed ones...

(Thanks, Emily, for inspiring this!)

Five Minute Friday: Joining the Ranks of the Uncool

This is my very first Five-Minute-Friday.  About a week ago, I read Lisa-Jo's blog for the first time.

I felt like I'd been missing out.  Where had I been?  All of these women here, congregated, desiring to share in the raw, to go deeper, to be ok with having a bad day or loving motherhood or both at the same  time.

My heart has been thirsty for this, and I didn't even know it.

Blogging from the heart has been intimidating to me for a long time.

I have admired women who so seamlessly merge their very cool, chic, flawless lives with blogs that reflected their awesomeness.  I've admired them while knowing that I would never join their ranks.

I actually graduated college with a Creative Writing degree.
This means nothing when all you have to give to the world is a processed funky and sometimes tired mess.  I knew that Jesus saw me as beautiful, but I didn't think anyone else would want to hear about it.

And then, suddenly, my blog world changes.  And I find a ton of women who want to share, who need to connect, and who are very just plain and real and true.  And I get to join just by being me and by watching you be you.  And my heart is finally relieved that the trying so hard is finished and I can breathe.