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Thursday, August 23, 2012

The Art of Being For Reals

Some days, I sit down to blog and think, "If I am too raw, nobody will want to read."

It's funny how even my brain uses cover-up.  If I tell myself people aren't interested, I won't be forced to dig out the fleshy, raw, sometimes (or often) unsure process that makes up what I call me.

So I try to dazzle with pictures, charm with cleverness, or I just don't blog at all because I'm either afraid of being too fake or too real, and I'm not sure which one scares me most.

Also, I'm a little terrified of what you will think if you know that I wrote this the night before I'm posting,
that I have today's mascara flaking onto my cheeks,
that I am wearing my husband's t-shirt,
that I'm cuddled in a chair in a corner of my beige, non-chic bedroom with an old blue blanket pulled under my arms because I just like it that way,
and that I didn't know whether I should smile for this gritty iPhone picture.
See, it's really true:

Despite all of that, I have this desperate desire to write and to connect by being raw, by being real.

I don't have it down yet.  I'm not even close.  But I want to try.  

Sometimes being real is glorious, celebratory, marvelous.  Sometimes it's messy and gross.  The only hope I have is that in some moment of every day, we each desire to pull off the film, to be in the raw for just a few moments, and to connect with the hearts of others in a different way.

It takes effort to go there.  For me, it can be kind of painful.  However, I also find my wings when I let myself feel and think things that require extra depth or extra effort because it just doesn't always come up in everyday life.

I want you to know that I expect you to maybe be sitting there with flaky makeup feeling a little insecure.  
I want to tell you that I want you to feel wonderfully complex in these moments, because I want to feel that way too.  
And I want to hug you through my words for no real reason except that you need someone to tell you that being raw and weird is something we all long for, and if we're the only two people who understand that longing, it's ok.


  1. What a great post!
    It's funny about the make up and less than perfect look. That is me... ALWAYS! Thank you for sharing!

  2. i say the more real and raw you are the better!

  3. Girl! We are two peas in a pod. I had the biggest smile while reading this post because I know exactly what you are talking about, I JUST posted something very similar on my blog swishandswoon. You are doing a great job being "real."

  4. Ok sorry but I just realized our last two posts are so similiar, glad I found someone to relate to out there in the blog world:)

    1. Don't say sorry!
      I read your post and I loved it and it made me smile very much. I am a little giddy to have just found a new blog friend that gets what I am feeling, too.

  5. "and to connect with the hearts of others in a different way."
    Yes, this. Lovely post. Thanks for stopping by & commenting on my blog so I could follow the link back to yours! You have a lovely sight, and an adorable little guy. Enjoy the moments!
    Ali @ an ordinary mom

  6. Since becoming a mom I always have yesterday's (or quite a few days ago) mascara smudged every where! I rock it, it's a good look :)

  7. I know the smudged mascara well. You're good if it's only today's mascara! I totally wake up with yesterday's make-up on. (My MK consultant would kill me!) I only brush my teeth and clean up the mascara when I know my mil is stopping in from next door! =)


Your words make my heart smile.