I inhale, free my hands and march upstairs to fulfill my duty.
We settle in because he's hungry, and only I can do this, and daddy's still at church leading worship because we went to the early service.
I slide my eyelids down and take in this moment.
Honest truth: The first thought that comes into my brain is not, "Thank you Jesus for the blessings you've given me."
Sometimes, that is my thought.
Right now, it's not.
Right now, a prayer rises from the depths of my heart and I remind my God of His own Word:
The LORD will guide you continually, giving you water when you are dry and restoring your strength. You will be like a well-watered garden, like an ever-flowing spring.I ask, He gives. Just that quickly. I am restored and watered and I am gifted with just enough grace for this moment, for this day.
Being ever aware of my cracked, weary parts means that I can always be quenched, that I can day-to-day, moment-to-moment, tap into the Spirit's restoration versus my own reminder to get myself together. My perfectionism takes away from the grace of God. My inabilities, my weaknesses, they allow it.
His grace restores me best when I'm able to admit that I'm dry, that I have need.
He's an ever-flowing spring, and He came to heal the sick. He's more than aware that I will never get to the place where I don't need more watering, more healing, more restoring.
Liam pauses his eating and looks up at me, smiling, adoring. God's grace, God's quenching.
I take another deep breath, and I smile back. Fully restored, in just a moment.