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Sunday, February 28, 2010

Sueño, part 3

In the first two parts of this mini-post-series (as I have just now named it), I wrote first about my view of dreams in general and then about some specific dreams that I have. As I wrote part 2, I realized that there needed to be a third part that addressed how I have been dealing with these dreams and where I go when I'm terrified of pursuing them.
Lately, I have been reading through the book of Romans with my friend Megan. We have been reading through books of the Bible and after we finished the last one, she let me choose, and Romans has always been a favorite of mine. This will come into play in a minute.
Growing up, I always knew that I wanted to write and communicate. I didn't necessarily take it as God's promise to me, but I knew it was a dream that was placed in my heart by him. I always took a poke at writing here and there and I always loved English classes, but I never took it too seriously. I always thought that I would just do it when I grew up.
So here I am grown up - and terrified.
As I have sought God more intensely and in a deeper way, I feel him pulling me toward pursuing what I've always known I should do. But here's the problem: I feel like a grain of sand on the beach of bloggers, authors, and people with much better things to say and much more eloquent ways of saying them. I am very aware of my insignificance and my lack of knowledge and/or talent. I want so badly to begin writing avidly, but I feel small and transparent to everyone around me. Everyone blogs. Everyone can write.
What makes me different? Why would I think that God would use me? Why do I have a burning desire to do something everyone is good at? How can such a small rock make the splash I've dreamt of making?
(Sorry this is long, but stay with me...)
Here is what God's been showing me:

Romans 4 talks about Abraham and his faith in God. By his faith he was made right (verse 3). This caught my eye, because I have so lately been prompted to action, but I have not had faith that if God was leading me, he would accomplish what he wanted, which really is all I desire. But what really got me was this:
Abraham never wavered in believing God’s promise. In fact, his faith grew stronger, and in this he brought glory to God. He was fully convinced that God is able to do whatever he promises. (verses 20-21)
Although I've never heard God promise this to me audibly before, I have known it in my heart and my spirit, and it's even been prophesied over me before (don't get freaked out; it's ok if done Biblically). If God really wants to do something, who am I to stand in the way? My lack of action shows my lack of faith. When God is leading us somewhere, our own insecurities or self-awareness are actually roadblocks to his will. We prevent his work in our lives by false-humility.
If God wants to use me, so be it. I've started writing. I'll keep writing and hopefully be led by him as I continue to seek his face. Believing in his promises are freeing, perhaps terrifying, but amazingly, wonderfully freeing.


  1. Sarah you have tremendous faith. I've always seen it, and felt it. I know that when you start writing, God is going to do great things through you to help girls like us. I remember that one time you told me you were going to write about how when a girl doesn't have a father in her life it affects every arena in her life. I loved that idea, and can't wait to read about it one day! It may seem scary, but God is bigger then all of our fears and thoughts. You got it girl...can't wait to see what's to come!!!

  2. Sarah Ann-
    i really wanted to talk with you about this post and how I FELT the very same way and what the Lord has done just by me obeying...I looked for your email address but didn't see it.....
    please send me an email because I would love to share my story with you to offer some encouragement...
    God can do BIG things through you and I truly believe that just by seeing you heart in this post...

  3. Thanks for swinging by my blog! I'm excited to follows yours too! Your post really spoke to me (and if your writing changes the life of only one person it is worth every second) I feel like I'm being called to start a prayer team for our younger women's ministry, and to be deeper involved in it and well...that's super scary for me, but super exciting! You may never be able to see the impact you are making, but if you are willing to be used by God for His purpose, well He will surely bless you for it!

  4. This is a great post I really enjoyed reading :)


  5. Amy - thank you for the email! Everyone should visit your site and read your story. You are so inspirational!

    Crystal - That is SO awesome! I hope to read about the prayer team you are going to start! I know how important prayer is, and to lead a team of young women is definitely scary - but so amazing. I'm so thankful that you read my post and that you are encouraging me - I hope to have encouraged you, as well. Seriously, though, I hope to hear about this prayer team! If you don't blog about it, keep me updated here!

  6. you go girl!

    i know..i'm always like "God...you so have the wrong person..."
    but, i end up trusting HIM and everything works out...of course!! :)

  7. I know we've been talking about this a lot, but I know I at least cannot hear it too much: God made you to be you, and He is going to use you in the way he created you to be used!!! Just be faithful in your part. You know He'll be faithful in his! :) Love you!


Your words make my heart smile.